A real person exploring real dreams
I was with my family and discovered that I didn’t actually know who my family was. My wife was there, too. Someone was shot. I suddenly realized that what I’ve been told most of my life was a lie; my age, my family, all of it was a lie. I got hit with an overwhelming sense of fear and worry, asking “Am I worried about the world taking advantage of me? Lying to me? Am I worried that I can’t keep up with the world?”
Then I woke up.
I was Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys and didn’t know how to play anymore. I didn’t know how to participate in the world anymore, and that scared the shit out of me. There was hope at the end, after I realized that when the drummer played fast a natural understanding kicked in and the fear went away, like a muscle memory.
Then I woke up.
Mom was laying in bed in her usual spot with my step-dad next to her. My wife was peeking through the door to see what was going on. Mom found out that I was getting married and said she was so happy for me and proud of me. She looked weak and was balding; her body was frail, she needed oxygen and was wearing her nasal cannula that I had become used to seeing in the later years of her life. I bent down on my knees and held her hand with both of mine, and that’s when I started to cry in both my dream world and the waking world.
My step-dad was talking with me about my mom dying and telling me how my brother and I would be getting the house. My uncle showed up too. I went for a drive in my old truck, down Walnut Creek to the nearby 7-11. I ran into Leigh, just an acquaintance from high school, and told her I was getting married. Leigh told me about a fire that she thought I was burning and how it was leaving ash in her yard. The cashier said he was a wedding DJ and showed me and my wife all of his gear, and my wife was asking good questions about the venue and such.
Then I woke up.